The Big Book Of Mary-Sues!
by The Blaze's Silent Echo
Summary: Mary Sues. We've all heard of them. Those..perfect, amazing cats who always save the day. You know. Farting rainbows, rainbow wings..Ring a bell? Starkit's Prophecy? So I'm just going to make a fanfiction about those and just rant on and on about them, and make a one shot where everything doesn't make sense. BECAUSE WHY NOT? :D
1. Sparkleglimmer

_Hey! This is my first fanfiction on this account, so I know I will be a little rusty with grammar and all that stuff ever since I quit last time :( Anyway, feel free to give me some of your opinions and tell me what I could do better :D COURTESY TO DAWN, MY COUSIN FOR COMING UP OF THESE MARY-SUES (Sorry, Dawn. I know you hate Mary-sues, but as a good older cousin I must torture you! :D)_

 **Sparkleglimmer- Beautiful sparkly silver she-cat with bright glittery aqua blue eyes.**

Sparkleglimmer. Ugh. It doesn't even make sense. Glimmer and sparkle are honestly both prefixes. _IF THEY EXIST IN THE WARRIOR WORLD!_ Sparkle?! For one, cats _don't_ sparkle. Same as glimmer- These words are honestly the worst. And the appearance- Oh, god. CRINGE ALERT CRINGE ALERT CRINGE ALERT. Sparkly? Glittery?! Cats, _cannot be sparkly or glittery._ Okay. You know what? Now that I think about it, this isn't half as bad as the other Mary-Sues I've seen. But if anyone ever uses this OC, I will die. If anyone decides to use this, I'm assuming they will add wings and let it fart rainbows. Starkit's Prophecy, anyone?

 **Okay, now for the stupid part- The one shot of Sparkleglimmer. I'm sorry if it sucks.**

Sparklekit opened her eyes, widening at the world before her, full of color.

Her mother, Gorgeousglitter gasped- "Sparklekit! Oh my Starclan! Oh, my Sparklekit! GALAXYSTAR! GALAXYSTAR! SPARKLEKIT'S OPENED HER EY-"

Galaxystar barged in the den's entrance and immediately started licking Sparklekit's cheek.

"Oh, isn't she adorable!"

"She's bound to be a great warrior!"

"Galaxystar, you need to make her deputy right now so that she'll be a leader one day!"

A queen, Diamondgleam exclaimed.

A big smile spread along Sparklekit's face, and she raised her chin high.

"Daddy! I would love to be deputy! Please!"

To prove her skills, Sparklekit launched herself into the air, and landed squarely on Galaxystar's muzzle, unsheathed her long, sparkly rainbow claws and raked her father's muzzle, causing blood to spurt out from all directions. She bared her little rainbow fangs and leaped down to his chest, clinging on with her glittering claws and sinking her fangs into his shoulder. Galaxystar yelped in pain, and grabbed Sparklekit by the scruff, hauling her onto the great rock.

"CATS OF SHIMMERCLAN! We- We have a new warrior!" He managed to splutter.

Sparklekit gestured to Galaxystar's deep wounds, and winked. All the toms swooned, and immediately fell to the ground.

"From this day forward, you will be known as Sparkleglimmer! Shimmerclan honors your beauty, talent, courageousness, bravery, fabulousness and more!"

"Also, I now appoint you as the new deputy! You will be a great addition to our clan, and I'm sure you will teach our clan to be the most fabulous clan of all!"

"SPARKLEGLIMMER! SPARKLEGLIMMER!"

Well. That was weird. And amazingly stupid. Alright. I never knew I could write like that. Eh.

OKAY!


	2. Chapter 2- Blossomkit (Pt1)

Ellu :D

Welp, welcome to the second chapter of The Big Book Of Mary-Sues! *SQUEEEEEE* XD Special shoutout and thanks to Night Feather Falling for giving me an idea for this chapter. I won't be ranting on _this_ chapter, but I will make a short story about the character's life. Not a quick one-shot, but an actual story about her life and stuff. But because I'm very lazy and I have to deal with school, (bare with me!) I'm doing a part 1 and 2. Sooo.

*Sarcasm Inserted* Oh, and GUYS! I got a really _great_ review from a guest for this story! I decided to share it with you guys!

Guest chapter 1 . Aug 31

Wow. You're right, that WAS incredibly stupid. I mean, WTF?

 **Well. I know I'm not such good of a writer, I'll admit that. I know there are way more writers out there that can write tons better than me. But what gives you the right to discriminate me? Why must you be a guest? What, can't you talk to me in your Fanfiction account? Can't you face it? Are you too afraid? Where's your stories, huh? How can you compare any to mine? And I'll excuse you not to swear in my story reviews. If you don't like my story, you don't have to read it. No one's forcing you, idiot.**

 ** _If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say nothing at all._**

Sorry, dear readers. But it's something I'd like to point out. Don't be that person. ON WITH THE STORY! NIGHT FEATHER FALLING, I HOPE I LIVED UP TO YOUR EXPECTATIONS!

 _Leaf-bare was starting to cause havoc for the clans. Prey was scarce, and many cats had died from sickness. It seemed like every time at a Gathering, there would be no good news. This moon, snow had started to fall, and everyday, the snow just fell harder, and every pawstep held a grudge to move in the thick snow._

"Push, Duskfall! You're nearly there!"

Duskfall clamped down hard on the stick between her jaws, shutting her eyes and wincing as a contraction came through her. She had been through unbearable pain, and Duskfall was sure the whole forest could hear her yowls and screeches.

 _Great Starclan, why can't we just get over this? The kit is such a pain! Plus it's leafbare, too! Just another mouth to feed! Why did the kits have to come at this time! Stupid mousebrain!_

Duskfall writhed in pain, and after what seemed like a whole moon, the kit popped out and immediately began wailing for her mother's milk.

"Congratulations, Duskfall. You had three kits, but only this little one survived. What would you like to name them?" Heatherfall, the medicine cat mewed solemnly, while pushing the little kit to her mother's belly.

Duskfall let a small smile spread over her muzzle.

 _At least I won't have to worry about those two.. They'll be safe in Starclan. Maybe even in better paws than now._

She looked out of the den, silently watching the snow fall.

After a while, she gestured to the first one, a small grey tortoiseshell she-cat to her mate, Cloudstrike.

"What should we name her, Cloudstrike?"

"She looks the spitting image of you," he meowed, licking his mate's cheek lovingly.

"What about Streamkit?"

Duskfall sighed softly in response, and looked to the other one, a dark brown tom with a little gray stripe along his flank.

"Willowkit." Duskfall breathed, touching her tail tip to Willowkit's flank.

"And the last one.."

Cloudstrike turned his gaze to the little white she-kit, she was very fluffy and had little silver flecks.

"She's gorgeous..." Duskfall sighed.

"Just like you…" Cloudstrike whispered, under his breath.

Duskfall replied, "Blossomkit."

Cloudstrike looked happily at his little family, proud of his mate.

"Blossomkit will make a wonderful warrior to the clan in the future.." He meowed.

Duskfall coiled her tail tightly around all three kits, snuggling into them, giving them their mother's warmth. Blossomkit squeaked in surprise, mewing softly and burying her head into her mother's fur.

 _ **Timeskip because I'm lazy af! :P**_

Blossomkit had grown to be a very curious kit, constantly poking her head into the dens. Blossomkit might've wandered into the leader's den if Sagefeather and Crosspool hadn't blocked her. _(Yes, it took two cats to stop her, Blossomkit is absolutely crazy XD)_ When Duskfall found out, she was furious and forbid her from leaving the den without permission for a moon. Blossomkit was devastated and was absolutely bored to death. She was tired of the other kits,

Leaf-bare was getting worse and worse by the second, and Sunclan had been going through even more rough times. Heatherfall's apprentice, Darkpaw had died, which left Heatherfall deep in grief for 3 moons now. Heatherfall had to take on a new apprentice, Fallowpaw. Even though she was a quick learner and smart, Heatherfall often said she was "Nothing compared to Darkpaw".

Blossomkit padded around, watching the deputy, Darkwillow, give out orders for patrols. She trotted over to her, when suddenly Darkwillow hastily pushed her away with her paw.

"Hey! Sorry, Darkwillow, can I help?" She squeaked.

Darkwillow hissed, "Get out of the way! Can't you see I'm busy?"

Blossomkit shrank back in alarm, shocked by the deputy's tone of voice.

"S-sorry!"

"Go back to your mother, or do you want to look like a mouse-brain with your fur fluffing out like that at your apprentice ceremony?!" She snapped.

Blossomkit turned around and imediately flew back to the den- _Just catching Darkwillow's words._

" _Great Starclan, what a pain. The absolute greatest time to born, of course. Leaf-bare. How dumb is that?! Just another mouse-brained mouth to feed."_

Blossomkit's head drooped, and crashed into her mother-

"Sorry, Duskfall!"

"Oh, come on. Quickly, it's your apprentice ceremony!"

Duskfall hastily licked her fur flat and pushed her near the front.

"Hurry up!" she snapped, nudging her forward.

" _Blossomkit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it is time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you recive your warrior name, you will be known as Blossompaw. I will be your mentor." Emberstar smiled slyly._

Blossompaw squealed in delight, and eagerly touched noses with Emberstar.

"Blossompaw, Blossompaw..!" The clan hesitated before calling.

"CHEER LOUDER, FOOLS! I AM YOUR LEADER!" Emberstar roared, clearly dissatisfied.

"Blossompaw! Blossompaw!" They cheered, with fake enthusiasm, though Emberstar couldn't tell.

"Wow! You're so lucky, Blossompaw, you got Emberstar as your leader!" Dapplepaw grinned, walking up to her.

"Thanks, Dapplepaw! I'm so excited, I can't wait to train, I can't believe I got Emberstar as my mentor! Think about it, the leader!"

"Yeah, yeah, mind you don't trip on a stick and have to train as a medicine cat." Larkpaw, Dapplepaw's brother growled.

"Oh, Larkpaw. Don't be jealous, we both got great mentors anyway! I'm sorry, Blossompaw. He's usually not that negative." Dapplepaw glared at Larkpaw, flicking her tail.

"Great mentors? Ha, I'd be worried sick if Shadetalon started being all kind and supportive." Larkpaw snarled, thinking of his mentor.

There! I hoped you liked it, Night Feather Falling. :D Sorry about the previous rant about the guest.

Anyway, I'll be doing a thing where I will choose one of the people who reviewed on my chapter to come up with a character, so look out in your PMs if you reviewed!

 _ **I'll give a fun question for you guys to find out-**_

 _ **How did Firestar's mate's mentor's daughter's son's die?**_

 _ **Also, try to guess my name! I'll give you a hint- Read my profile!**_


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